How to Prepare for a Divorce in Tennessee


Divorce is an awful thing to go through, even if it is necessary and in your overall best interests. 

Your divorce will go more smoothly, however, if you are prepared for it. 

Not everyone will have this opportunity to prepare for your divorce. Sometimes, life happens and you just have to go for it – whether it’s a domestic violence situation or your spouse serves papers on you. If you have the opportunity to take preparation time however, there are a few things that will make your situation go more smoothly.


7 Steps for How to Prepare for a Divorce:


Step 1: Prepare Yourself Emotionally

You know the divorce will be tough. You need to make informed decisions that will alter life for you and at least one other person. Being at peace with this situation will make the transition out of the marriage easier. The calm will help you make good choices for your future, and the future for your kids if you have any.

Emotional calm prevents poor reactionary decisions. You’ll also want to equip yourself with knowledge and facts too.

Take a moment to breathe before you say or do anything. This will help prevent detrimental actions from happening. Don’t be afraid to pause a conversation and ask to resume at a later time.

Don’t speak ill of anyone involved. Doing so doesn’t help you and it may hurt your kids too. Take the high road. Your kids will watch to see how you handle this divorce. You will make a lasting impression on them during this pivotal moment. You set the example for them now, both in how to conduct themselves and in how a relationship is supposed to feel.

Seek outside help at any time. Emotional guidance at this time can be extraordinarily helpful. If you choose to get emotional assistance, seek an unaffiliated third party.

Being emotionally prepared will help you survive the turmoil of divorce.


Step 2: Prepare Yourself Financially

Divorce is an expense, potentially a large one. Take precautions and record everything.

Take inventory of all your assets and liabilities, including those obtained jointly. Then, schedule a meeting with a financial advisor, one that your spouse doesn’t also consult.

Set aside some emergency cash for yourself. Consider how you will pay the bills over the coming months and create any necessary contingency plans. 

Think about asset allocation, particularly the big question of who gets to live in the house? Maybe the answer will be neither and you sell it and split the proceeds. If you can’t live together as you go through the divorce, look in your area and decide if renting an apartment is viable.

Meet with your estate lawyer. You will be barred from changing your will after you file for divorce. If you are concerned about physical harm because of your will or need to protect the interests of children from a previous marriage from a soon to be ex-step parent, you need to act quickly. The closer in time to the divorce changes to the will are made, the less likely they will be upheld. Again, if you use a joint estate attorney with your spouse, get a different one, and use the new email address!

When talking about all divorce matters with your spouse, think in terms of a business negotiation. Focus on the ones and zeros in financial discussions. You want to remove emotional reactions, as mentioned above, to reach agreements amenable to both parties. 


Step 3: Prepare Yourself Digitally

Create a new email account with a new, secure password. Use this email address for divorce-related materials and conversations.

If you have shared accounts elsewhere, it may be time to get a separate account. If you gave your spouse access to any of your personal accounts, it may be a good time to change the passwords.

Make copies of everything you might need. Do the research.


Step 4: Educate Yourself

Know your options. You have them, even in an unpleasant divorce.

Hiring a mediator is one option. You might find yourself in a contested divorce. There are a variety of ways to create a solution that is palatable.

Research divorce attorneys and mediators. Schedule meetings. Find someone that understands you and wants to help you in this difficult time.

Speak with different professionals to gather a few good choices.


Step 5: Organize Yourself

There will be so much information. You need to stay organized from beginning to conclusion.

Collect all the important and relevant documents now! Make copies and keep them handy. Be prepared to give these documents to the appropriate people helping you through the divorce process.

Don’t be passive in the divorce proceedings – take action! You prepared yourself with the knowledge and the facts. Now, it’s important to stay organized and on-track to achieving the best possible solution to this divorce process.


Step 6: Limit Yourself

Don’t try to “win” the divorce. Nobody wins in divorce except the attorneys.  That being said, people can definitely “lose” in a divorce. Work to enhance the positive outcomes and mitigate the potential losses to minimize the damage. 

Being prepared, staying focused, and trying to find solutions instead of fighting will help make the divorce shorter and less expensive.

Know when you’ve reached your limits and seek outside counsel. That can manifest in different forms. You don’t need to go through the divorce alone. 

Stay vigilant and hire help. 

We’d be happy to help you when you are ready to start the process. 



So, how do you prepare for a divorce? You prepare with a lot of patience, time, effort, and some outside help.

We hope this article helped you. We wish you all the best in your journey!